


Good Form

by Bay



Series: Chasing the Desert [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-13
Updated: 2014-11-13
Packaged: 2018-02-25 06:34:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2611913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bay/pseuds/Bay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every soldier has a story he or she is willing (or unwilling) to share.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Form

**Author's Note:**

> Written back in 2012 for [fma fic contest's](http://fma-fic-contest.livejournal.com/) prompt, "breakfast". Part One of my _Chasing the Desert_ series. 
> 
> Thanks to sonjajade for the great betaing!

 

  
_“But ranged as infantry,_  
 _And staring face to face,_  
 _I shot at him as he at me,_  
 _And killed him in his place._  
-Thomas Hardy, “The Man He Killed”

Ever since Riza stepped into Ishval, she always forced herself to go to breakfast; she never looked forward to the day ahead of her.

Each time she went to the mess, the scent of eggs, burnt bacon, gunpowder, and blood greeted her. Several soldiers would already be seated and conversed with one another—Sgt. Phillips’ father had sent him his favorite beef jerky. 1st Lt. Jackson hoped to come home in time for his wife to give birth to their first child. Maj. Heniz considered getting a dog after the war. Riza rarely paid attention to stories from strangers, had no reason to root or care about them.

On one particular morning after Riza grabbed some sausage and eggs, she spotted two of her friends from her sniper unit, Greg Collins and Joseph Banks, waving at her. Like her, they too were cadets (from same military academy) and had been dragged into the battlefield based on their excellent marksmanship. She immediately went to their table.

“Since all three of us had been on the battlefield for a while, who was your first kill?” Banks asked both her and Collins not long after the group started talking and eating.

“Why you asked that?” Collins arched an eyebrow at Banks.

“Thought it would make interesting conversation,” Banks said before snatching a piece of his sausage.

“My first one was an Ishvalan warrior monk about to strike a few of our soldiers. I hear they’re quite trained and a few of them can take down several of us.”

“An old Ishvalan woman.” Collins took a sip of his coffee and ate a piece of his bacon before continuing. “She narrowly escaped from one of the State Alchemist’s attacks and tried to run away.”

Knew it was her turn, Riza let out a deep sigh. “My first kill was an Ishvalan that looked only to be a couple years older than us. He seemed fit better as a scholar than a warrior.” She remembered him unable to steady his hands on his rifle. One shot on the forehead and he crashed down instantly, blood splattering on his tunic and striped sash.

Banks raised a suspicious eyebrow. “How you know he’s a scholar?”

“I didn’t say I know, just I assumed he was,” Riza corrected Banks, her voice flat, and took a few bites of her eggs. “I could tell he didn’t want to be in this war, at least.” And she didn’t either, because she realized murdering Ishvalans wasn’t making a difference.

“I remember seeing that,” Collins said to Riza. “I thought he’s probably a bookworm myself. No reason.”

The conversation died as they finished their tasteless meal until Banks said, “I need to be at my post in half an hour, so I have to get a move on. See the both of you around dinnertime.” He pulled out from his seat, leaving Riza alone with Collins.

“I have to get to my station too,” Riza said. “I’ll see you later, Collins.”

“See you soon.”

As soon as Riza stood up to slung her rifle over her back, she nodded at Collins and headed outside under the blistering heat. Another day, more work to be done—all in good form.

That night she dreamed of stopping the Ishvalan warrior monk from killing Amestrian soldiers she never met, of ending that old Ishvalan woman’s life, of buildings engulfing in flames and her stuck in the middle.

+++

The next morning Riza ate her breakfast alone. That was short lived when she suddenly heard someone speaking to her.

“Mind if we join you?”

She raised her head a little to see Hughes, Roy, and another man Riza never recognized in front of her, each one carrying a tray of food. It seemed strange they want to join her, but Riza thought some company at this moment would be nice. She shrugged.

“I have no problem with that.”

Hughes sat next to her while Roy and the other man were across from them.

“Oh Hawkeye, this is Benny Watkin,” Roy said, pointing to Benny. “He’s a State Alchemist like me. He’s known as the Wind Alchemist as he does air alchemy.”

“Nice to meet you.” Watkin extended his arm to Riza for her to shake, which she accepted.

“Same here,” she said as she released his hand.

She continued eating her bacon in silence as the men talked to one another. They spoke of the casualties on both sides, current events in Central, and goings on in the camp. When they stopped speaking for a moment, Riza thought back to her conversation with Collins and Banks yesterday over their first deaths. She wasn’t sure why, but she got curious over which people Roy and the others first killed—in war, how a solider left their mark said a lot about them.

“Who was your first kill?” she asked.

Roy stared at her oddly while Watkin had a blank expression appearing on his face. Hughes, on the other hand, chuckled.

“I always thought Kimblee would ask that question, but not you.”

Riza didn’t say anything. While waiting she drank some more of her coffee, already used to the bitter taste. Those were the only tastes being offered here.

“My first kill is actually from the South,” Watkin was the first to answer. “Several Aerugians the minute I entered the battlefield. There was a need for State Alchemists at Ishval, though, so I was pulled out from Aerugo.”

“I had to kill an Ishvalan man as he was about to attack me,” Hughes said next. “Threw a knife and stuck it in his forehead.”

Again, Riza repeated what she told her friends yesterday. She stole a glimpse from Roy, who seemed surprised, more so out of her saying it in the open and not that she ended someone else’s life.

“Like you, Watkin, I killed several people, but here,” Roy frowned after he said that. “I was ordered to burn down a house. An Ishvalan husband and wife along with their two children.”

Riza flinched. She felt guilty for any deaths Roy caused, not just the ones from her trigger. He was already aware of her frustration with him breaking her trust and the military making them killing innocent lives. A day hadn’t gone by without feeling the burning terror searing through her back.

“I wish I could stay here longer and chat, but I’m due to a different area soon,” Watkin said, pulling Riza away from her thoughts. “It’s nice talking with all of you.”

After he got off from his seat, everyone waved goodbye to Watkin and he moved out. Riza looked at Roy and Hughes, grim expressions crossing their features.

“I can’t wait to get home and eat a real breakfast from Gracia instead of the half-baked ones here,” Hughes said, setting aside his half-eaten bagel.

That made Riza gave out a small laugh. “You miss her, right?”

“I do.” Hughes offered her a sad smile. He then turned to face Roy. “At least she isn’t bothered with me showing pictures of her.”

Roy glared at him. “Like I said, don’t blame me if you get killed before the war is over.”

“If you say so.” The smirk on Hughes’s face faded. “I’m scheduled to meet with Gen. Grand in a few minutes. I’ll catch you guys soon.”

Hughes too waved goodbye and quickly left, Riza staring at his back for a few seconds. An awkward silence followed between her and Mustang.

“He’s not going to tell that to Gracia,” Roy then said in a low voice.

“Pardon?” Riza blinked at him.

“A few days ago a buddy of ours from the academy almost killed me and Maes had to shot him. He was an Ishvalan. I was overwhelmed with grief and Maes said how he’ll keep the bloodshed to himself. ”

That made Riza speechless. It wasn’t hard for her to imagine him being stunned upon meeting with his Ishvalan friend. She now regretted asking that question earlier.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Hughes only told me his first kill because I asked him to and I’m a soldier who understands.”

“And that you’re a friend he trusts,” Roy added. He smiled a little. “If Kimblee were to ask that, he won’t tell.”

Riza felt her face softened. “I guess all of us have stories we don’t want to tell to certain people.”

Roy’s eyes flew open, only for him to lower them afterwards. She already had an idea what he was thinking.

_Only you knew about my back and I want to keep it that way. It’s my own choice that I followed you, that I decided you’ll have an important role in my story._

Minutes later they had to leave for their shifts, Riza getting a “Stay safe,” from Roy, their breakfast gone cold and unfinished. Another day, more work to be done—all in good form.


End file.
